At 27-years-old, I partook in things the world and what American culture deemed to be “cool” or “normal.” Casual sex, getting drunk, trying drugs, etc. That hooking up culture, the whole “not caring” thing, being “too cool for school”.. Having an attitude, cursing people out, cutting people out of my life; putting on a facade on social media, making my life look soooo exciting and awesome on social media. Obsessing over likes; Obsessing over materialistic things JUST to get likes. Sound familiar? Yeah, this isn’t life. Trust me. Once you get a taste of real LIFE, you’ll never go back.
Reflecting back on my life, I don’t know why or how I ever thought that was okay. What most people don’t know is what comes from these things. Unhappiness. Depression. Anxiety. Fear. Unwanted pregnancies. STDs. Drug addiction. Alcohol addiction. Accidental overdoses. Having a reputation for something you don’t want to be known as; or maybe you did; maybe the attention is what you longed for. I know I did sometimes.
I have a long history of things I’ve tried, and done, but now I couldn’t be happier where I am. I was never a ‘true’ Christian. And there are days where small stupid satan rears his ugly head back in and whispers lies in my ears. Those days are the hardest for me as a new Christian.
There have been MANY times, God has saved me from suicide. I mean….. I’m still here. I don’t know how…. but my attempts never worked. Knowing God needs me here, and that He has a plan for my life, a job for me, keeps me in check.
My blog on perception vs perspective was insightful to me; I thought about patience. I need to wait. I need to learn. I can’t jump or run away the second satan comes near me. I need to call out to God. That’s the only way he’ll vanish. I need to remember that next time a day like yesterday rolls around.
I have lived in peace, love, and joy, that the world cannot provide, since becoming a Christian. I hate to say I’ve been slowly drifting back to where I was before. An excuse for church; an excuse for connect group; an excuse to read the Bible for just 5 minutes a day.
But I find myself so bored with all the time I have in a day. TV is really no longer a big interest of mine. I realized healthy hobbies are what I need: so I began playing basketball on Saturday mornings, biking, and getting out of my comfort zone.
What I will say to new Christians like I recently was– is take the next step. Majority of new Believers get sucked back into old ways and habits; I slowly was. Get out of your comfort zone!!! I finally decided I’m going to try it God’s way, and go to California for a few months. I’m going to be staying at a camp-like place where you have daily lessons on the Bible, learn more how to pray and Encounter the Lord, and further your spiritual gifts. I CAN’T wait!!!!!!! Being discipled and learning to be obedient to God isn’t gonna be easy, but NOTHING you’ll ever do can ever compare to how worth it it is. Get a taste of God, and you’ll want more forever, and he longs to give you more forever. How amazing is He?